reflectin' & dissectin', thoughts on "detransitioning"

Tag: Radical feminism

Women Transition

Women transition.

Women transition because we feel, see and experience ourselves as men, as genderqueer, as transmasculine, as non-binary, as not female in some way. Women transition because we’ve felt male our whole lives, because when we were kids we expected to grow up into a male body, because we couldn’t imagine growing up to be a woman or growing old as one. Women transition because we never felt like we fit in with other girls, because we felt like something else, because we always got along better with boys and men and felt like one of them. Women transition because we met a trans person or read about trans experiences and so much of our lives suddenly made sense. Women transition because we talk to trans people and find our lives reflected in their words, go to trans support groups and meet other people struggling with feelings and problems we have too. Women transition because being seen as female feels wrong, because being called “she” stings, because passing as male or genderqueer and being called “he” or “they” feels right. Read the rest of this entry »


Passing Women are Quite Common

Women transition for a lot of reasons but one of the main ones is being treated like all women are treated, disrespectfully, violently, subject to many limitations, as well as getting punished specifically for being a woman out of line with the male-created ideal.

Women aren’t allowed to just exist as we please. We are encouraged and trained, starting when we are very young, to please others. If someone sexually abused us as children then we likely absorbed the message that our very bodies exist to be used for others’ pleasure.  We are taught to please men especially since they have more power, including the power to dominate whomever happens to fall beneath them in the social hierarchy. Men are more likely to sexually abuse us, teach us our bodies are there to fulfill their desires. Men, white men most of all, still hold most positions of power in industry, in the professions, media, politics and religion, they still make more money and have much greater access to resources. Dominant men use their power and influence to create a culture that centers their world views and blots out or distorts the perspectives of women and less powerful men. Virtually all women are in a position where they have to please men in order to get some or all of their basic needs met. A lot of men and not a few women in this society don’t like independent powerful women. They fear and despise such women and punish those who do not bend to male expectations or work to satisfy male desires.
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Musings on Female-Only Space

I’ve always felt strong connections with other people born and raised female, especially those who aren’t what women are supposed to be, whether or not they see themselves as women. I’ve bonded deeply with other dykes, queer women, detransitioned women, female-bodied genderqueers and trans men. Even when I was trans, the fact that I was born with a cunt and treated certain ways because of it made a huge difference to me and I knew it had a profound impact on how I turned out. There have always been FtMs who acknowledged and valued their experience of living as female and I could relate more to them than to trans men who insisted the only difference between them and other men was their transsexuality, which they saw purely as a medical condition.  Now I’m even more conscious of how being female, particularly having a body whose femaleness was questioned many times, helped create who I am.
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Questioning Transition Or Why It Does Make Sense To Ask “Where Have All The Butches Gone?”

Radical feminists have been getting a lot of shit lately for criticizing trans identities and politics. In some cases, radical feminists who’ve expressed critical opinions in the past have had speaking engagements rescinded though they were planning to speak on topics unrelated to trans people. Certain opinions concerning why or how trans identities and desires come to exist and the political implications of them have been branded hateful, ignorant and transphobic.

I’ve read quite a bit of radical feminist thought concerning trans people and politics, both older and contemporary. I disagree with quite a lot of it because it conflicts with my own experiences of when I lived as a trans person and my time spent in the trans community. Some of it I indeed find to be hateful, ignorant and transphobic. But often there are insights and understandings contained within such thought, at times greatly muddled through lack of much direct contact with the subject discussed, but nevertheless it accords in some way with what I myself have observed.
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Genderfuct, fucked over by the reigning system of gender which divides people into two groups based on biological sex, each group with it’s own roles, psychologies, interests, ideal bodies, behaviors, mannerisms and so forth, with one group, males socialized into men, having more power than females socialized into women. Gender varies a lot, influenced greatly by class and race for example, by what specific cultures or sorts of people a person comes into contact with. It changes by location and over time. It is a system enforced on, among and through people. There are people and cultural institutions that try to set down clear rules of gender and try to get people to follow them but they can only directly control so much. Smaller orders of gender compete with the dominant one, though with far less power, range and social legitimacy. Among queers, there are now systems of gender that contain more than just man or woman, that allow people to make shit up and call themselves any gender they wish. Outside of queer culture though, these genders aren’t taken very seriously and most people in mainstream society have little knowledge or direct experience with people identifying as non-binary, genderqueer or other queer genders. Queers can also be genderfuct within their own communities since there are still plenty of rules governing gender in queer culture.
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Some Old Writing From Just Before I First Quit T

Below is an excerpt from an email I sent to a friend back in 2007, right around the first time I stopped t.

“I think I’m going to stop T in the near future. I’ve been rethinking gender over the last few months and am definitely coming to a new understanding of it. I don’t like how much my access to hormones is regulated by doctors and psychiatrists and the larger medical industry. I feel like being a consumer of such an industry is at odds with my attempts to live an autonomous, sustainable life. I’m also starting to question why what type of body I have is so important. Why do I have to change my body and follow certain behavioral and cultural rules in order to been seen as a man?  I’m tried of all the assimilationism and worship of normality I see in many transsexual communities. Read the rest of this entry »